These are the main changes I use in everyday life and also how I look at things that I have been able to help myself with and eliminate anxiety, stress or worrying. They are mostly simple things that you can change quite easily and notice a change in how you feel or behave. I do use most of these every day, and I am resolving to do more this new year!
If you find these tips useful, please let me know in the comments, or simply email me at kissesofconfidencegirl@gmail. I’d love to talk, answer any questions and help you out!
Have a me day every week! Treat yourself to an evening with no homework or any stress-filled activities. Mine often include a candle and a warm bath, reading and also phoning a friend or my boyfriend – talking to people calms me down and offers a wanted distraction.
Keep forgetting things? If you suddenly remember something important, make sure you don’t stress yourself out about keeping the thing in memory. Write it down on a Post-It and then put this in your shoe, on your lunch or in your bag; somewhere you will look at it without meaning to! This clever little reminder ensures you won’t forget.
Don’t use your phone or laptop at the end of the day, right before your night routine. Try to put them away an hour before you go to sleep and to turn them off whilst you are asleep to ensure any notifications are silenced. To relax, read a book, take a bath or shower, listen to some music or draw.
Create a playlist of your favourite songs and then listen to it whenever you’re feeling anxious – I always keep spare headphones in my bag!
Try out a few anxiety/depression apps and start using the one that works best for you daily for a few minutes, logging any symptoms, triggers or simply using the app as a relaxation technique. I use BetterHelp and SAM to note down how I feel every day and use graphs to show me the main causes of my anxiety – they’re both so useful so if you’re looking for an app, check them out!
Remember people aren’t actually staring at you when you’re out by yourself, and they definitely aren’t looking at you whilst you’re out having fun with your friends!
If you feel awkward in a social place, try to relax and watch other people. Not in a creepy staring way, simply watch everyone go round their everyday life and note how confident they are that no one is watching their every move.
Meeting a friend? Anxious it will be awkward? Make a reminder of a few topics you can chat about, or things for you to ask them. Make the list on your phone so you won’t lose it, and in the worst scenario whip out your phone and start a new conversation! I find this is useful, especially if you are going to be doing something such as grabbing a coffee that doesn’t require very much attention – it is something you’d do to catch up, for example. If talking makes you anxious, ask to do something a little different that won’t need you to wrack your brains for something to say, such as going to a theme park or concert.
Before you leave the house for either work or school, look in the mirror whilst you’re washing your face, doing your makeup or cleaning your teeth and think about 3 positive things; they could be about your life, about you as a person, or in general. If you’re feeling like you’re in desperate need of a confidence boost, determine 3 things about your appearance that you like and are proud of.
Set an alarm five minutes earlier than usual; I set mine for around 10 minutes earlier than I actually need to get up to have a relaxing start to the day.
Read, write or draw for at least 15 minutes.
Listen to at least one song every day and think about each word.
Try to see something beautiful every day; go for a short walk, check out the sunset, try stargazing, go birdwatching, sacrifice ten more minutes in bed to look at the morning sky.
Limit your social media allowance to 30 minutes per day, and don’t spend too much time on your phone because studies have shown a longer time on social media has a positive correlation with mental health disorders.
Seeing pictures of beautiful women on your social media with professionally done makeup, Photoshop and expensive beauty products wearing bikinis and lingerie is also bad for your mental wellbeing as it leads to unrealistic views of what you should look like, and even progress into eating disorders. Turn this around by remembering that models and celebrities are groomed every day and meant to look flawless; they may be wearing several layers of makeup and modified to be curvier, taller, thinner or even to change their facial features. You are beautiful as you, whether you look like a model or not!
Be yourself. Don’t post unrealistic images of yourself because you feel as if being beautiful online is necessary;; it isn’t. Being true to yourself is beautiful, and you should never feel as if you need to change how you look for anyone. Post what you think you look great in and don’t be disappointed if you don’t get thousands of compliments as celebrities are naturally famous and will get many adoring comments from their fans.
Natural beauty is better than commercialised, fake beauty. Having plastic surgery, lots of makeup, designer clothes and an intensive workout routine and diet won’t make you any more beautiful, it simply changes it from being natural to artificial. Stay true to yourself with natural beauty, and realise that you cannot compare yourself to those who are very rich or famous.
Have some in days! Don’t think that you need to be groomed every day and wear makeup and a cute outfit. Days where you can simply lounge around, eat chocolate, watch Netflix and wear cosy clothes are the best; instead of going out with the girls, why not stay in once in a while, order pizza and stay in your pyjamas?
When looking in the mirror, stop focusing on the flaws and really concentrate on how you are beautiful. Try to do this instead of thinking about your appearance in a negative light.